MY VIRTUAL CHILD

CAIDEN APOLLO AT 3 YEARS OLD

There is evidence that there are three main personality types in childhood and the Virtual Child's behavior beginning at age 3 and 4 is designed to resemble one of these personality types. The personality types combine some of the temperamental traits with which you are already familiar. The overcontrolled category refers to a child who is cooperative, and follows the rules, but is shy in social situations and anxious and clingy under pressure. The undercontrolled category refers to a child who is uncooperative or even aggressive, does not follow the rules, is not particularly shy in social situations, and has a tendency to become distracted and overly emotional, particularly when under stress. The resilient category refers to a child who is cooperative and follows the rules, is friendly, non-aggressive and outgoing, is able to focus on tasks without being too distracted, has good regulation of his or her emotions, and is adaptable to new situations.

You and your partner are doing OK financially, but things are a little tight because you are saving for a down payment on a house.

Sometimes both of you feel stressed. You are not comfortable with the crime level in your neighborhood, and are anxious to move.

1. Caiden Apollo is generally pretty interested in music and sings songs from preschool and from his favourite cartoon shows and movies, although he cant remember the entire melody and keeps repeating certain parts over and over again. One day you could swear you heard the first verse of the “Itsy Bitsy Spider”over a hundred times.

You sing along with Caiden Apollo helping him to learn the full version of his favourite songs.

•         Yes, because I believe that he will be more entertained and interested if someone is there singing along with him, and as a parent, it is my task to be that someone. Trying to help him learn it would mean having to be patient and having to repeat it over and over again because repeating something would be of great help to make him remember things more easily. 

A great uncle passed away and left some money to your parents, who have given some of it to you to save for a home of your own. You didn't know your reclusive uncle very well. He had a few patents and no immediate family to inherit his estate.

2. Since the age of two, Caiden Apollo has dawdled on walks around the neighborhood or in the park, and this behavior is increasing. He seems to be curious about every fence, ant trail, leaf or bird, and always wants to stop and look at, touch, or talk about them.

You recognize that this is an ideal learning experience for Caiden Apollo, so you make an effort to ask and answer questions, and to go what you believe will be interesting places for him.

•         Naturally, my child would be more interested and curious on what is happening in the world outside the neighbourhood. To not make him confused, I will guide him by answering any questions he asks me and I will take him to places he is interested in like the museum or the city or even at the mall.

Your family has grown with the addition of a baby girl! She was born last night at 11:30 P.M. Caiden Apollo is a little over three years old now, and has been eagerly awaiting the baby's birth. Caiden Apollo holds and rocks the baby, and even feeds her with a bottle of pre-pumped breast milk or formula. Caiden Apollo is fascinated with the baby and tells everyone about her. ngRepeat: answer in moment.content.answer ngIf: admin You notice as the weeks go by that Caiden Apollo likes to imitate Leticia Salvacion's sounds and movements, and enjoys play-acting a baby role. He sometimes seems to be regressing and becoming more demanding and whiny, and less cooperative, but other times prides himself on being a competent older sibling.

3. Caiden Apollo enjoys fantasy play and tends to enact scenes with his toy animals and cartoon figures, sometimes playing for a half hour at a time.

You continue to be affectionate with Caiden Apollo, but you think he needs help so you adapt a system of small rewards for positive behaviour and punishments for negative behaviour.

•         It is our job as parents to be with him at all times to facilitate to his needs and to guide him as he grows up. My partner and I will keep loving, supporting, and being there for him whenever he needs us.  We will pretend play alongside him and also help him learn new things or games so that his imagination will broaden. Through pretend play, his social skills with other people (namely my partner and I) will also be practiced and later on, he will not have difficulty socializing with other people, most especially with other children.

From time to time Caiden Apollo overhears some arguments you and your partner have about household chores and other issues. During one recent argument you ended up walking out of the house in anger. Caiden Apollo started crying, and kept asking for days if you were going to run away. Later, you and your partner tried to calm Caiden Apollo down, telling him that you would not run away, and not to worry.

4. Lately Caiden Apollo has not been consistently complying with your requests (to clean up, get ready for bed, etc.), and he seems not to follow your directions or gets distracted mid-way through following them.

You continue to be affectionate with Caiden Apollo, but you think he needs help so you adapt a system of small rewards for positive behaviour and punishments for negative behaviour.

•         I understand that Caiden is still not mature enough to know my reasons for making him do the chores but I will try my best to make him understand and know that it is for him too. Punishing a child will make him realize that what he did was wrong and that if he does it again, he will get the same consequence but if he gets a reward, he will try his very best to do good and obtain another reward from me.

The baby's crib is in the living room right now. Caiden Apollo really wants to have his sister in the room, and normally is able to sleep through the baby's crying at night, so you go ahead and move the crib into Caiden Apollo's room.

5. Caiden Apollo is not generally able to sit still or stay quiet through an entire meal at a fast food restaurant. You see some other kids of about the same age sitting quietly at the restaurant.

You think that Caiden Apollo is behind, so whenever he misbehaves, you can explain how it makes you angry and bothers other people so he will learn the consequence of his actions.

•        If Caiden does not listen to me, I will tell him that it makes me angry and upset that he will not obey me. I would also tell him that if he continues to misbehave, I would take away his favorite toys and that he cannot have his favorite dessert. Sometimes, as a parent to a growing child who needs to be reprimanded more than once, I have to be strict and firm when it comes to controlling his behavior in public. Of course, I would not yell or reprimand him harshly and loudly in public because that would humiliate him. Instead, I would try to use the reward and punishment method that if he still continues to behave badly, I would give him a punishment such as taking away his favorite toys or taking away his play time so that he will be able to learn his lesson.

6. Caiden Apollo is OK at playing catch, shooting mini-basketballs and kicking the mini-soccer ball but often quits after a short while, saying, "I'm tired!"

You don't want Caiden Apollo to get frustrated trying to play sports before he is really ready, so you play catch, soccer, etc..only when Caiden Apollo is in the mood or isn't tired.

•        Yes Caiden Apollo being active in sports is a good thing, but at his young age, he is still fragile and needs a lot of support to persuade his goals in life. As a family, we will accomplish his goals by guiding him in making big life decisions but for now, we can accompany him in his ball games only when he is in the mood or he has the energy to do so. We would also show him that we support him by cheering him on and attending his games. We don’t want to pressure him in doing anything so that’s why we will let him decide which sport he would participate in and if he needs to rest, he must.

7. Caiden Apollo communicates fairly well now, relying mostly on complete sentences, and seems to understand most of what you say. He enjoys watching children's educational television and listening to books. He occasionally makes charming errors such as "I runned as fast I can."

Caiden Apollo needs as much exposure to language as possible so you spend a lot of time reading books to him, and make sure he doesn't miss his favorite educational TV shows.

•        I want my child to be able to put his thoughts into words and sentences and I will not limit him to speak in one language only. I would also teach him how to speak simple words in a different language because it helps the child to have a better memory and to also have a broader vocabulary. Speaking other languages will also help him communicate better with other kids at school and so that he will not have difficulty in expressing himself.

8. Caiden Apollo seems to know that the cartoons he watches aren't real, but he gets nervous or scared when watching prime-time dramas or even "G" rated videos.

You let Caiden Apollo watch some cartoons and occasionally some of the less violent dramatic series or videos. You make sure to watch along with Caiden Apollo, and answer his questions about what is going on or explain the events.

•        I will be there when Apollo watches prime time dramas so that he will not be scared of them. Also, being there for him is good because if he gets confused on what is going on, I will be there to answer his quarries. I will schedule shows and cartoons appropriate for Apollo’s age for him to watch and I will limit brutal or dramatic shows that could affect him emotionally and bring him trauma.

9. Caiden Apollo loves to watch children's educational television. He is learning to name some letters and numbers. He sometimes sings along with the characters on the show, or repeats what they say, but sometimes just sits and watches or plays with his toys in the room.

You make sure not to miss Caiden Apollo's favorite shows on the days when one of you is home. While Caiden Apollo is occupied, this is a great time to do chores.

•        I will watch him the whole time he is occupied with the shows he watches so in that range of time, I will be doing household chores. It will be time saving and of course, convenient. But I will not be afar from my child and as I do chores, I will still check on him from time to time.

10. Caiden Apollo is fascinated by small animals, and enjoys petting small dogs, cats, bunnies, etc, in the homes of your relatives and friends, as well as the pet store.

You think it might be nice to get a pet one day soon, so you let Caiden Apollo have a lot of experience with animals, showing him how to handle them.

•        I believe that Caiden can discover a lot more about animals if we have one at home. I will build a small aquarium and put a goldfish in it. I will expect him to look at it when he is bored and will be curious about it. That way, he will be more interested in that field of science and it will help him someday. I would also ask him to help me feed the fish and also clean the bowl. Through this, I would be exercising his ability to be responsible for something which could be useful if Leticia grows up and would need a big brother to look up to and someone who would protect her.

11. Caiden Apollo now seems to have a good idea of how familiar things happen, such as baths and restaurant visits. He often points out when someone doesn't do something in the right order.

You play along, and ask Caiden Apollo periodically what should happen next to make a game out of it.

•        It is good that my child is aware of the things that is happening around him. I will enhance it by playing along to him whenever he asks me why some aren’t doing what are they supposed to do. Through that, he will not be confused about the things that would bother him. Through playing, I would also be able to stimulate his imagination and practice his thinking skills.

12. Caiden Apollo's preschool is great. He has become a bit less compliant and somewhat more aggressive at school, but also is getting more skilled at playing in a group with other children.

You are happy that Caiden Apollo is adjusting to preschool and figure the teacher will straighten out the misbehavior during this transition period.

•        I will encourage him to do more at school and I will reward him for his achievements. I will also talk regularly to Caiden about how his day went, if he made new friends, and the things that he had learned. I would also ask if he had any problems or if anything was bothering him because I want him to be able to open up to us, his parents, if ever he is struggling with something or if he just wants to talk about what happened during recess.

Caiden Apollo likes to tell people about things he has done, but he usually leaves out some key details. You listen to his telling of the story with great interest and ask questions to prompt him to fill in a few details.

You and your partner have saved enough for a down payment on a place of your own, with help from the relatives.You bundle up your little family and go looking.

Caiden Apollo has begun occasionally lying to you about accidents or rule violations (such as sneaking a cookie before dinner). The lies are pretty lame (e.g., there is a trail of cookie crumbs). You recognize this as a sign of a theory of mind, but you wait until you catch him in the act, explain that lying is wrong, and put him in time-out. For good measure, you also explain that being lied to you makes people feel bad.

Caiden Apollo recently has begun occasionally lying to you about accidents or rule violations (such as sneaking a cookie before dinner). The lies are pretty lame (e.g., there is a trail of cookie crumbs). You recognize this as a sign of a theory of mind, but you wait until you catch him in the act, explain that lying is wrong, and put him in time-out. For good measure, you also explain that being lied to makes people feel bad.

13. You have worked outside the home part- or full-time at various points. Now that you see how much it costs to support your family in the neighborhood, you and your partner decide.

That you will work part-time outside the home in the career you were pursuing prior to Caiden’s birth. This will have little over effect on family finances. There are great options in your neighborhood for home daycare and part-time center care for Leticia Salvacion and Caiden Apollo is already in preschool.

•        I think it's not too late to pursue my career because Caiden is already old enough to go to preschool and Leticia can be at the center care if I am not around or she could be with other family members. I should also be able to help with the family income whether it be a small amount or otherwise. If things do get too difficult to handle, I am willing to stop working for the mean time and just take care of the kids. Although, it would be really nice to be have a sense of worth and also help in the family in terms of financial matters.

Caiden Apollo has been in preschool for a while and you are curious about his progress. So you hire your friend the early development specialist to do a formal assessment and observation at the preschool during the summer.

Based on the testing situation and the observations at the preschool, your friend thought that Caiden Apollo was outgoing and not at all hesitant to get involved in activities at preschool. However, she noted that Caiden Apollo was having some difficulties complying with instructions and sticking by the rules of the preschool. When tasks became challenging he tended to get frustrated and upset, and gave up early. He seemed to need a lot of guidance from the teacher to stay on task. Caiden Apollo had a couple of little friends in the preschool, but she observed Caiden Apollo get into several arguments with his friends, and actually shove another child (not one of his friends) in order to get a toy. She recommended that you try to be extra affectionate with Caiden Apollo and provide a lot of praise at home for positive behavior. At the same time, you should communicate the rules clearly and use a set of graded consequences (e.g., first a warning, then a time out, then removal of privileges) if Caiden Apollo does not follow the rules.

He scored about average in language comprehension and production. For example, when asked to tell a story about a funny picture, he was able to give the broad outlines as well as a few interesting details. Your friend recommended having more conversations with Caiden Apollo about anything of interest, reading aloud, watching educational television together and going to places of interest to him.

Caiden Apollo was in the average range in terms of understanding quantitative relationships (e.g., "more/less", "longer/shorter"), in counting skills, in classifying objects (e.g., types of animals) and in solving age-appropriate reasoning tasks. Your friend recommended that you work on these skills indirectly (e.g., encourage counting as a part of games or other activities Caiden Apollo enjoys), rather than trying to teach them directly.

He performed below average in copying designs, solving picture puzzles, and building block towers to match one made by the examiner. This doesn't seem to be one of Caiden Apollo's strong points, but your friend encouraged you to promote any of these activities that Caiden Apollo enjoys.

Caiden Apollo's gross motor skills are within the average range, for example, climbing, riding on trikes, climbing, kicking balls and playing catch. Encouraging more of these activities would be a good idea.

You filled out a parenting questionnaire. The developmental specialist reported that your scores indicate you are about average in warmth and affection displayed toward Caiden Apollo.

The parenting questionnaire scores indicate you are currently more disciplined than average with Caiden Apollo.

Mary Laurenz J. Barbaton, Ryan Cordova, Edel Rose Rivera

BSPT-2C