MY VIRTUAL CHILD

CAIDEN APOLLO AT 4 YEARS OLD

Caiden Apollo is still having problems behaving properly all the way through a meal at a fast food restaurant. He sometimes climbs under the table, or starts complaining loudly that he wants to leave. "I took psychology!" you say and set to work. Your goal is to give Caiden Apollo successful experiences in restaurants by going only to fast-food places, and by telling him in advance what you expect, and the kind of reward he will get if he behaves well. Cleverly, you always order to-go, and sit at the table. If he misbehaves, you give one warning. But if he continues to misbehave, you pack up and leave without giving him the dessert or toy reward.

1. Occasionally Caiden Apollo forgets the rules at home or at school or has an accident (such as knocking something over at the store).

You scold Caiden Apollo when he misbehaves because clear feedback is essential at this age.

•         I will be strict to my child when it comes to house rules. I will not give my child power because once I give it to him, I will have difficulty in trying to take it back and chances are, he will become a spoiled brat. I will scold him if he doesn’t follow the rules. I believe that he will learn from his mistakes from that.

You go on a family vacation (for the first time in 4 years!!) to the beach. Caiden Apollo had a great time splashing in the water, visiting amusement parks and jumping on the hotel beds! His sister enjoyed all of the attention she got from everyone.

2. At home, Caiden Apollo is generally more compliant with your requests than he was at age 3, but sometimes ignores your request and gets upset. Once Caiden Apollo is upset, it is really hard to calm him down, and occasionally he can get aggressive with you.

You use explanations, warnings and time outs to get Caiden Apollo to cooperate with your requests. However, if Caiden Apollo gets aggressive, you don't tolerate this. You put him in time-out or remove a privilege if there is more than one act of aggression in the same day.

•         It is good to know that Caiden now has more sensitive feelings towards the people around him but whenever he gets upset because of my instructions, I will explain to him thoroughly as to why he should cooperate with me and follow them. If he gets mad and starts throwing a fit, I will put him to time out by locking him in his room for a few hours to teach him a lesson and to make him cool down. Later on, I would explain my side and why I punished him.

You are fascinated by the way Caiden Apollo plays with a new skill almost every chance he gets. For example, this has been happening with coloring. Caiden Apollo fills up page after page in his coloring books with partially colored pictures. Sometimes you join in (it's actually quite relaxing) and make the coloring more complete, but Caiden Apollo is always anxious to get on to the next picture!

3. Caiden Apollo is a typical preschooler cognitively speaking. He doesn't quite understand conservation or seriation yet. However, he asks questions about animals, nature, and how things work. He is beginning to like simple board games with dice or other counting games.

You go to nature centers, zoos, and science museums where Caiden Apollo's natural curiosity will lead to lots of fun and learning.

•         I will expose my child to the environment because it is important for him to know more about it and discover things that will peak his interest. There, he can learn many things about the environment and about our planet. I would also encourage him to ask more questions and be curious about anything and everything and I will also try my best to answer all of his questions correctly.

Caiden Apollo has begun to beg you for a puppy or a kitty. You aren't ready for one yet, but temporarily try to satisfy the urge by taking Caiden Apollo to the petting zoo or to play with pets at the homes of your relatives and friends.

4. Caiden Apollo has already learned most of the letters and their sounds from watching educational TV, and from games and songs at preschool, can write his own name, and read a few words. He is very interested in listening to books.

You buy or check out some alphabet picture books with printed letters and words (e.g., E -- ELEPHANT) to see if Caiden Apollo will learn to read a few words that way and be ahead of the game in kindergarten.

•         I will enhance and promote my child’s intelligence by introducing him to educational books where he can get more knowledge from. Mainly, spelling books and grammar books. Through this, he will be trained so that he will not experience difficulty on these subjects when he enters kindergarten. From time to time, I would also let him choose the books that he wants to read to stimulate his desire to read books that would appeal to him.

You and your partner occasionally find some time (maybe once a month) to get out and away from the kids. Even when you are out you often end up talking about the kids or worrying how they are doing with the babysitter.

5. Caiden Apollo was excited about the birth of Leticia Salvacion a year ago and participated in her care. But he occasionally shows signs of jealousy, such as taking his sister's toys. He is also showing regressive behavior (e.g. clinging, throwing temper tantrums and thumb sucking).

You realize Caiden Apollo needs more attention so you spend time in one-on-one activities with him, particularly when the baby is asleep.

•        Although we have a new child, I will not forget about Caiden, I will periodically spend time with him as much as I spend time with Leticia. I will do this especially when the baby is asleep so that I can have a one-on-one bonding with Caiden. I will also tell him that we love him as much as we love Leticia and that will never change. I would also try to make him understand that since Leticia is still a baby, she needs all the love and attention that she could get, just like when Caiden was little. I would then talk about the things that I did with Caiden when he was Leticia’s age so that he will know how much he was loved and how much we love him still.

6. Caiden Apollo has had more colds in the past couple of months and now has come down with a painful ear infection. This is not the first time for an ear infection. The pediatrician explains that many kids at this age have overly narrow Eustachian tubes so fluids can't drain properly in the inner ear.

You get the ear infection treated immediately because of the risk of some hearing loss during this sensitive period for language growth and reduce Caiden Apollo's hours in preschool as much as possible to reduce exposure to sick children.

•        I will not depend on Caiden’s capability to heal from the infection, thus, I will get immediate attention about it  and have it treated as soon as possible to prevent further damage. While he is sick, I will prevent Apollo from going to school because it might be contagious. 

7. Caiden Apollo is having difficulty fitting into the peer group at preschool. The teacher points out that Caiden Apollo is either too aggressive or gets too upset and cries too often, so this puts the other children off.

You realize that Caiden Apollo hasn't had a lot of experience with children of the same age. So you arrange to bring Caiden Apollo to a small playgroup for children age 3-5 years on the weekends, where you can support him if he starts to get too upset or too aggressive.

•        I know that Caiden needs more social experience to get along well with others so I will take him to playgrounds with small groups of children playing. In that case, whenever he gets upset or is bothered about something, I will be there to support and guide him. He will not be lost on what to do because I will be there to encourage him to open up to other people and make new friends.

8. You notice Caiden Apollo is getting rigid about gender roles. E.g., boys should not play with dolls or dress up, and girls can't be firefighters or police officers, despite the fact that he was in the car when you got a ticket from a female police officer!

You and your partner point out the variety of things men and women can do (such as male cook, female police officer, etc.).

•        I will tell Caiden that everyone should be able to choose to play with anything that he or she wants, to choose a career irregardless of your gender and to be simply human. I will not pressure my child to follow those roles because it might lead to him discriminating others for their choices. Instead, I will tell him that you can always go against society and even if they turn their backs on you, we are always here to support you all the way, 110%.

9. You and your partner are often confronted by situations in which Caiden Apollo has a gender-related choice, such as whether to play with trucks, sporting equipment, dolls, cooking toys, action figures, etc. What will the two of you do?

You and your partner will try to expose Caiden Apollo to all types of activities, regardless of gender-appropriateness, providing he is interested in them, and show him by your own actions that males can cook, be nurturing, etc, and females can be assertive, play sports, etc.

•        I will tell Caiden that it is okay to choose anything as long as it makes him happy. This is the 21st century and society is more accepting on whatever you think your gender may be. We will not pressure him on his gender because it is his choice. Rather, we will support him and guide him make the right decisions in his life.

10. Caiden Apollo seems to be curious about nearly everything, asking lots of questions during shopping trips, walks, visits to museums or parks, and story sessions. After nearly every answer there is another "Why?"

You give short answers, but occasionally use some of the questions as a springboard for more in-depth learning (e.g., you check out a book or video later that week).

•        If I give Caiden spontaneous answers, well that is really tiring, instead, when he asks me a question, I will answer him with a brief and good enough answer. Occasionally, I will tell him to search it up on a book or in the internet later when he has the free time to do so. That way, he will learn to be independent on some things for his gain.

11. Caiden Apollo is sometimes interested in the train set you brought down from your parents' attic, or the large-size interconnecting blocks, but usually gets bored quickly or frustrated, and moves on to another activity.

Way cool! Your partner loved trains and blocks in childhood and happily joins Caiden Apollo in play. You set aside a corner where the creations can be left up.

•        Since my partner also loves that kind of game, it would be nice for him to join Caiden whenever he plays with the trains and blocks. It will be a good foundation for them to strengthen their bond as a parent and child and work on Caiden’s social and cognitive skills.

Caiden Apollo will turn 5 this summer and will be a bit on the young side in the fall when he starts kindergarten. The school where Caiden Apollo will attend kindergarten has started a kindergarten prep session over the summer that lasts for a couple of weeks and involves group as well as individual work on letters, numbers, etc. You enroll Caiden Apollo at the age of 4 years, 10 months. He is assessed by one of the kindergarten teachers, who observes him during free play and tests Caiden Apollo one-on-one. Then the teacher sits down with you and your partner and gives the following report:

The teacher noted that Caiden Apollo seemed to have made one or two friends and usually played cooperatively with them. She observed that Caiden Apollo was sometimes reluctant to join in new activities with unfamiliar children.

He could read a few short words and write his name and could name most of the letters on sight at the time of testing. He also showed an age-appropriate understanding of phonological awareness (e.g., deciding whether two words started with the same sound, picking out the two words that rhymed from a list of three words). The teacher recommended continuing to enjoy reading and writing activities - Caiden Apollo was well-prepared for literacy activities in kindergarten.

The teacher noted that Caiden Apollo had some difficulty adapting to the "practice" kindergarten activities the children were asked to do. Caiden Apollo was generally trying to do a good job, but sometimes became uncooperative or rebellious with the teachers, sometimes got distracted and went off task, and sometimes became upset when mild stress occurred (such as an instruction to hurry up). The teacher recommended that Caiden Apollo get more experience with structured activities at home and at preschool and that he be given reminders and praise for good behavior.

He performed in the average range on tests of vocabulary e.g., naming a picture and providing an antonym or synonym for a word), and the ability to retell a story. The teacher thought you should engage in more reading aloud, and encourage Caiden Apollo to tell stories, perhaps so that you could write them down and read them back to him.

Caiden Apollo has age-appropriate skills in counting, classifying and understanding quantitative relationships. Nothing special needs to be done in this area, as the kindergarten class picks up and teaches these skills very effectively, says the teacher.

Caiden Apollo was not very interested in the little art projects the teachers had the students do, and got frustrated in some of the pre-math activities involving working with blocks and geometric shapes.

The teacher reports that your scores on the parenting questionnaire put you slightly above average in terms of affection and warmth displayed toward your child.

The parenting questionnaire scores put you in the top 15% in terms of control and discipline exercised with your child.

Mary Laurenz J. Barbaton, Ryan Cordova, Edel Rose Rivera

BSPT-2C