As part of Caiden Apollo's English class this year, he was required to submit a poem into a school-wide contest. Caiden Apollo's poem was given a B+ by the teacher and didn't win any prizes.
1. A student at Caiden Apollo's school was caught with a knife and suspended last week. There have also been a couple of drug possession busts, and some fights, mostly among older graders. Caiden Apollo has been a bit nervous about going to school lately.
You tell Caiden Apollo that he doesn't need to worry, as long as he stays away from kids that start talking about violence or drugs.
- This is very challenging for us because as parents we too are scared for this kind of situation and it really gives us so much worries because it is inside the school. We just have to tell Caiden not to be afraid and worry as long as he stays away from these kids and don’t ever mind those kids who aren’t familiar to him.
Caiden Apollo has been working hard in 9th grade and has some good grades to show in the current progress report. You say you're proud of him and celebrate by going out to dinner at his favorite restaurant.
2. Caiden Apollo is a lot more interested in his appearance lately, and wants to wear certain clothes, shoes or hairstyles. From what you can tell, all of Caiden Apollo's friends wear the same styles.
You allow some of these purchases as long as it fits your budget. You talk about the latest trends in music, clothes, etc., and smile every time Caiden Apollo affectionately calls you "a hopeless dork". You thought the same thing about your parents.
- Caiden is growing up so fast and this is a tough situation and as parents we will support him as long as we have enough budget and be great parents to him.
Caiden Apollo tried out for the high school baseball team but didn't make it. He seemed disappointed for a week or so, but then moved on to other things. You encourage him to set goals and keep trying to achieve them.
3. After the move from his smaller middle school to the much larger public high school, Caiden Apollo seemed withdrawn at first, but made a few new friends after the first several weeks.
You encourage him to join clubs or sports at school, but you don't push. You let Caiden Apollo know you are willing to cooperate if he wants to invite friends over on the weekends.
- With these problems, we will continue to encourage him to join some clubs and to interact more with other people especially those who are in the same age with him.
Caiden Apollo is still showing some problems that you think might be due to the termination of your relationship with your ex-partner a couple of years ago. On the other hand, it might just be a normal part of the early teen years, or a part of his personality. He is having problems with classroom behavior, complains of arguments and fights with his friends, is performing haphazardly in school, and seems to be challenging you more. You think that his behavior might also be due in part to the presence of a rival for his mother's attention in the form of your fairly serious boyfriend, but you realize there is nothing you can do about that!
4. Caiden Apollo has shown an increased interest in men's magazines and sexually related websites. He talks on the phone or e-mails his friends about the girls in his school. Recently you found a porn video that had been downloaded on the home computer. He just blushed and left the room, mumbling that he would get rid of it.
You figure he is a normally curious teenager, and intelligent enough, so he will manage to find things on the Internet no matter what you do. You don't place any restrictions on his Internet usage, but point out that you believe pornography is demeaning to women, and gives people an unrealistic view of male-female relationships.
- It is kind of normal for boys and we also know that he is just exploring everything because he is quite confused but we will also put some restrictions to this because this is not right and would tell him to stop it because it is just like an insult to women.
5. During a trip to a competition, students from one of the vocal groups at Caiden Apollo's school stole some trinkets from a store and they were caught. They were suspended from school. Caiden Apollo agrees with the punishment because they did not live up to the expectations of their parents, their coach or their teammates.
You tell Caiden Apollo that it is more important to think about the legality of their actions in terms of state and federal laws than to think about how they disappointed their friends, teachers and family.
- Caiden is very smart and knows what is right and wrong we would tell him how important rules are and give him some examples and over view with some cases.
6. Caiden Apollo has to take two fine arts classes in high school.
You keep on encouraging him in drawing or construction projects that come home from school, because you know that these skills will be important as he moves on in school.
- We will encourage him with his interests even more so that he’ll never get bored and think it is useless. These skills would be very helpful to his school activities and it would be a good practice for him.
7. The transition to high school has been somewhat stressful for Caiden Apollo. He sometimes gets angry or rebellious. Little insults from peers and small setbacks in his classes seem to have an exaggerated effect on him.
You listen to Caiden Apollo's troubles and try to provide handy solutions or advice.
- As parents, we will understand him and his hardships and we will do our best to help him and give any advice because it will hard for us to see our son suffering from these problems.
8. Caiden Apollo has come to Dad claiming it is time for him to start shaving. When he proudly shows off his facial hair, you can sort of see the peach fuzz that might really need shaving in 6 months or so. He says that all his friends have started shaving already.
Dad shows him how to shave with an electric razor.
- His dad will be there when it comes to guy things and help him with it. I want Caiden to be able to also bond with his dad and know that we still love him even though we are not together anymore.
9. Caiden Apollo mentions that he had a long conversation with another student on a bus about all kinds of issues on which they disagreed, such as religion and politics. Caiden Apollo listened to the other person's point of view, but when he came home, he wanted to tell you all about his own viewpoints.
You listen to Caiden Apollo's views and find that they are fairly close to your own political, moral and spiritual views. You pat him on the head and say half jokingly, "so you have been listening to us all these years!"
- Listening to your child is one of the best ways to interact with him. We will give some good advice for him and continue to support him.
10. Caiden Apollo has a more abstract understanding of people and personalities now. For instance, he points out ways in which his personality is like one parent or the other in a negative way.
You tell Caiden Apollo stories of what you were like as a teenager, and he seems interested in these stories, especially the ones where you got in trouble.
- It is interesting if your child knows about your younger days and relate to the present days and give him a brief stories about your life before so he would know the differences.
Caiden Apollo's 30-year-old uncle has moved into the area from out of state and wants to reconnect after not seeing Caiden Apollo for 5 years. The uncle is unmarried and wants to hang out with Caiden Apollo and teach his favorite sport, tennis, to Caiden Apollo. Caiden Apollo loved the uncle 5 years ago, and enjoys hanging out with him and playing some tennis, but they are not able to get as close as before.
Over the summer, Caiden Apollo has been less cooperative with your requests and is spending more and more time with friends. Sometimes you are able to shuttle Caiden Apollo and his friends around, but it isn't always possible for either parent to monitor Caiden Apollo because of your jobs.You let him go, but require that he always be reachable by cell phone, and if he is not available, or does not follow either parent's instructions about being home at a certain time, or lies about where he has been, he gets grounded.
Caiden Apollo and some of his friends went camping with a close friend's parents. Caiden Apollo had a great time, and learned to use a compass to navigate in the woods.
Over the summer, Caiden Apollo had big plans to get some projects started, get involved more in sports or clubs, and hang out with friends. He has gone on a few outings with friends and started one project at home, but sometimes complains of being bored. You remind him about the other plans and offer your help if needed.
Mary Laurenz J. Barbaton, Ryan Cordova, Edel Rose Rivera
BSPT-2C
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