1. You've driven the mandatory 50 hours with Caiden Apollo and he has taken driver training and passed the tests. Caiden Apollo is a very conscientious driver. He always stayed under the speed limit, and always came to complete stops, but is still a bit scared to drive on the freeway.
You are happy now that you won't have to drive Caiden Apollo around so frequently. He uses his savings, and you chip in to help him buy a certified pre-owned car.
- I will be grateful because driving him frequently is very tiring, and now that he has the knowledge and the capacity to be a certified driver, I will help him save money to buy his own car. Through that I will be helping myself as well as my son.
You adopted a puppy from a shelter last week and are still thinking of a name for her. Caiden Apollo is enjoying training the dog and playing with him.
2. Your ex-partner gets a cell-phone call from Caiden Apollo and calls you immediately. While backing out of a parking space Caiden Apollo bumped into a passing car. There was only minor damage to both cars.
You tell Caiden Apollo to stay put, and drive over to the scene of the accident immediately. You are very upset and revoke his driving privileges for 1 month. You make Caiden Apollo do extra work to pay for the insurance deductible.
- I am very disappointed in my child but I have to believe that he has a valid and legit reason why his car bumped into another. If it was because he was drunk or such, I will revoke his driving privilege for two months instead of one so as to teach him a lesson. Also, I need him to be responsible for his own actions that is why I will make him do extra work to pay for the insurance deductible.
Caiden Apollo is finished with PE classes, having taken the two years required by the state. You have encouraged him to remain active by playing recreational or intramural sports, walking or bike riding. He has started to enjoy cycling and is saving up to buy a good bike.
3. Caiden Apollo had a break-up with his girlfriend of three months. He has been distraught for the last two weeks.
You spend more time together than usual, and try to listen well, to encourage him to open up about any feelings that he has.
- I am my child’s father so I will be there for him in times like that where he actually needs us both of his parents. I will make plans with him, a movie, or a laser tag game, or anything that would distract him from the heartbreak.
4. The high school has a music requirement. It has been a while since Caiden Apollo played an instrument. He opts for:
Music theory, as it potentially provides AP credit for college.
- I will probably support my child if he chooses that because it actually will of great benefit when he goes to college. This is good because I want him to be less stressed when he enters college and will also help him have an edge when he enters a new phase of his life.
It has been several years since you ended the relationship with your ex-partner. Both you and your ex-partner are doing well with your new partners, and you still live within 1 hour of each other. Caiden Apollo stays with you during the weeks and visits your ex-partner almost every weekend. Caiden Apollo does OK with your ex-partner but has been rebellious toward you. Caiden Apollo is somewhat cool toward both new partners, but gets along OK with them as long as they don't try to be authority figures to him. You are concerned about Caiden Apollo, but can't seem to do much to change his rebellious attitude toward you.
5. Caiden Apollo took the PSAT and his scores were average for verbal and average for math. He got bogged down on the reading comprehension questions and some types of math questions and ran out of time. Ever since the results came back, he has been prone to self doubt. You have noticed that his study habits in English, history and math and science have gone down a bit.
You acknowledge Caiden Apollo's concerns but emphasize there is a lot he can do. You talk to Caiden Apollo's teachers and ask them to make sure he turns in all of his assignments, particularly in English and math. You also sign him up for an SAT prep course starting in the summer that will prepare him for the real thing and encourage him to read (and write) a lot and to practice math with an SAT and an ACT prep book during the academic year.
- I don’t want my child to let himself down. I will tell him and let him know that he should never underestimate himself. I want him to gain more self confidence because I know that it is his way towards having a better performance. I will also sign him up for an SAT prep course for him to be ready on the future challenges and circumstances he might have.
6. Caiden Apollo has been dating someone for 2 months now. You and your ex-partner are worried. Caiden Apollo says that he's in love, and you're nervous that Caiden Apollo may be rushing into a sexual relationship before either of them are old enough.
Your ex-partner has a talk with Caiden Apollo and tries to convince him that he should wait until they are more mature, and more sure of the relationship to engage in sex. However, just in case, your ex-partner talks to Caiden Apollo about safe sex, condoms, and birth control. You both hope that by talking about it openly, Caiden Apollo will feel he can come to one of you with any questions or problems.
- I will really appreciate my partner’s efforts on building Caiden’s future, I will let him do that. but I am really disappointed because in that same age I was only playing Yugi-Oh cards and Pokemon balls but now the generation has shifted and it is really strange to know what children are up to know. but yeah I will tell him not to rush into serious things because it will most likely become a hindrance on his good future.
7. Your family has had a comfortable income over the past couple of years, but recently you were offered a higher-paying job that involves a 45-minute commute. If you take the job, your family will be able to get a new car, live very comfortably, and save more for college tuition.
You'll take the job! You can probably get some flex time, given the nature of your job responsibilities.
- Of course that would be the best way to respond to such opportunities, by a couple of years, I will be able to make my children be proud of me as a father more than ever. But even though I have a more time consuming job, I will still make time for my son to make sure he will not get left behind.
8. Caiden Apollo generally follows your rules about curfew, checking in with you, etc, and you have not had to become really punitive. You wonder when the teen rebellion is going to hit and brace yourself. When Caiden Apollo is occasionally late or forgets to call you when he is supposed to, you:
Point out the lapse and say that if he can follow your rules well over the next few weeks, you will allow gradual changes toward more freedom (e.g., more choice about curfew).
- Yes, because I want my child to be more disciplined. At his age, he is still my responsibility and I still care and worry about him. So if he forgets to call me when he is supposed to, I will remind him once again about my rules and regulations so as to imply a strict boundary.
9. Caiden Apollo has pretty good concentration in class and is usually able to keep his activities organized. Occasionally he gets too busy and gets stressed out.
You support relaxation and down time, such as having a few friends over or going out with friends on the weekend.
- Yes, because I want my child not to be stressed during his school life since stress can be a major cause of depression. I also want him to enjoy the things he should enjoy at his age as long as it is not crossing the line or breaking any of my rules and as long as he is safe.
10. Caiden Apollo is very diligent about studying both schoolwork and his SAT and ACT on-line prep courses, but isn't very outgoing and involved in extracurricular activities.
You provide a lot of praise for studying and work with Caiden Apollo to find one extracurricular activity that he really cares about.
- I want Caiden to know that doing his best is enough for me and that I'm so proud of what he has achieved and how he has changed over the years when it came to his academics. I will also remind him that there should be a balance between his studies and his social life. Having a social life doesn't necessarily means going out to parties or getting drunk, but it solely means having certain friends who you trust and can count on when things are rough; people who can lift you up when you are feeling down, people who will encourage you to be better, and those who can empathize with your feelings. It is about having people who care and spending time with them.
Caiden Apollo has applied to several places and has landed a part-time summer job working at a local grocery store. You are asking Caiden Apollo to save half of the earnings for college.
12. Caiden Apollo comes home after curfew. You notice the next day that there is a dent on the right front fender of the car. You spoke with Caiden Apollo last night when he got home and he said that everything was fine and the only reason he was late was because he had to drop off a few friends.
You ask Caiden Apollo about the dent and give him a chance to explain, because you figure he was too scared to tell you last night. He blurts out what happened and apologizes. You say you don't have the money in the budget to pay the insurance deductible so he will have to save the money to pay it or just live with the dent.
- I don’t want my child to live in fear of me, of my punishments; so I encourage him to talk more and I want him to know that I only want to be a better parent than I could possibly be. So he talks and explains and apologizes, but I don’t want to be the dad that puts up everything for him so I get to teach him how to handle his irresponsibilities.
Caiden Apollo is becoming more and more independent. In one of Caiden Apollo's attempts to assert his independence, he spent the day with his girlfriend without telling you where they were going. It turned out they were doing community service work (and you have proof of that!), but you still needed to take away some privileges on principle.
Caiden Apollo has had some arguments with friends and is a little subdued. You make some sympathetic remarks, and give Caiden Apollo some space, and you notice that in a few days, he is planning activities with the same friends and acting like nothing happened.
There are several potential blockbuster movies to see over the summer and Caiden Apollo is eager to go with friends. You would like to see some of the movies, but resign yourself to watching an occasional video or TV show with Caiden Apollo.
Here are some highlights from Caiden Apollo's 11th grade report card.
Caiden Apollo's citizenship grades from all teachers were satisfactory. Only one teacher added a comment indicating "a pleasure to have in class", probably because Caiden Apollo is typically dutiful and follows classroom rules, but doesn't contribute much to class discussions. There were no problems with peers noted in school.
- He got a B in Spanish II and B's in both English and American History. The English teacher thought Caiden Apollo could do better with more effort.
- He received a B in Algebra II and a B in Physics, and an at earlier conference with the Physics teacher, this teacher thought Caiden Apollo was working up to his ability.
- He received B's in his Fine Arts classes this year.
- He got a B in his music classes this year and seemed to enjoy the classes and learn a lot.
Mary Laurenz J. Barbaton, Ryan Cordova, Edel Rose Rivera
BSPT-2C
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